








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1962 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2618 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1577 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 895 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 749 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $237,175 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JASE | 53% | 83 |
| #4 | eman | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | JK-47 | 50% | 14 |
| #6 | holy n worf | 50% | 98 |
| #7 | yacob (colorblind) | 49% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JASE | 328 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | holy n worf | 220 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | yacob (colorblind) | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | finals mvp mavs in 7 | 84 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | JK-47 | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finals mvp mavs in 7 | +3.24 | 85 | 15 |
| #2 | Destan^* | +1.36 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | yacob (colorblind) | +0.48 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | holy n worf | -0.94 | 62 | 45 |
| #5 | JASE | -1.65 | 61 | 52 |





