








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2307 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1227 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1728 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1039 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1102 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,177 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Springgy | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | PiNG^ | 67% | 15 |
| #3 | mcDEAZY | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Karza | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Just Jesse | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Karza | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Just Jesse | 50% | 40 |
| #6 | Kole | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | Insyte | 46% | 13 |
| #8 | Neeks | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Neeks | 3 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Insyte | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | Just Jesse | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | PiNG^ | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Springgy | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Karza | 115 | 0.45 | 3 min |
| #2 | Insyte | 105 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #3 | Neeks | 74 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Just Jesse | 53 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | mcDEAZY | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Springgy | +5.78 | 91 | 65 |
| #2 | zaetep | +4.49 | 93 | 56 |
| #3 | PiNG^ | +1.31 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | Just Jesse | +0.55 | 63 | 53 |
| #5 | mcDEAZY | +0.13 | 68 | 69 |





