








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2724 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1537 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1998 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1439 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1602 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $585,470 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪creeperjo | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | jikzaiklflp | 65% | 101 |
| #3 | Soul | 65% | 40 |
| #4 | bonk | 64% | 14 |
| #5 | solus | 60% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | solus | 60% | 35 |
| #6 | Relish | 58% | 72 |
| #7 | CzarKel | 56% | 36 |
| #8 | jessE | 53% | 15 |
| #9 | ArmoredHarp | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | 32 | 0.0341 |
| #2 | jikzaiklflp | 11 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Relish | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Soul | 3 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | ✪creeperjo | 3 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jikzaiklflp | 187 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #2 | ArmoredHarp | 163 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | solus | 108 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪creeperjo | 50 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | bonk | 42 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | +5.52 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | jikzaiklflp | +4.54 | 94 | 53 |
| #3 | ✪creeperjo | +3.51 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | solus | +2.53 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | bonk | +2.00 | 83 | 68 |





