








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5977 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3251 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2425 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3531 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4502 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,100 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 415 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | groge aison | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | Relish | 67% | 24 |
| #3 | Light /M/ | 66% | 227 |
| #4 | ketamine | 65% | 101 |
| #5 | D1am0nd | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | D1am0nd | 57% | 35 |
| #6 | Nebula | 53% | 32 |
| #7 | habZrd | 47% | 53 |
| #8 | ArmoredHarp | 43% | 40 |
| #9 | CzarKel | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | 25 | 0.0344 |
| #2 | ketamine | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Light /M/ | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | D1am0nd | 6 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Relish | 3 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Light /M/ | 1993 | 0.44 | 51 min |
| #2 | Nebula | 184 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | ArmoredHarp | 134 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #4 | ketamine | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | groge aison | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ArmoredHarp | +4.16 | 76 | 58 |
| #2 | jikzaiklflp | +3.75 | 93 | 53 |
| #3 | Light /M/ | +3.32 | 85 | 74 |
| #4 | groge aison | +2.30 | 95 | 54 |
| #5 | ketamine | +1.33 | 74 | 60 |





