








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 248 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,072 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3588 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3776 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2689 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3019 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $811,571 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 311 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FuryNZ | 58% | 65 |
| #2 | Mosswi | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | FenZ | 53% | 157 |
| #4 | JamemesG | 50% | 201 |
| #5 | sippin | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sippin | 48% | 84 |
| #6 | hoppcx | 45% | 20 |
| #7 | Mr Popo | 45% | 103 |
| #8 | ♥ absent. | 41% | 101 |
| #9 | SyC0ne | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | 15 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | FenZ | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Mr Popo | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | sippin | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | ♥ absent. | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | 1629 | 0.39 | 48 min |
| #2 | FenZ | 484 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Mr Popo | 369 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | sippin | 348 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | FuryNZ | 274 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | +2.06 | 77 | 70 |
| #2 | wingman | +0.77 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | Mr Popo | +0.72 | 80 | 62 |
| #4 | sippin | +0.49 | 58 | 63 |
| #5 | Mosswi | +0.45 | 71 | 55 |





