








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 184 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2256 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2461 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2468 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2320 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2303 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $818,065 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 507 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FenZ | 52% | 85 |
| #2 | Mosswi | 50% | 24 |
| #3 | Mr Popo | 49% | 61 |
| #4 | JamemesG | 46% | 162 |
| #5 | sippin | 46% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | JamemesG | 46% | 162 |
| #5 | sippin | 46% | 68 |
| #6 | wingman | 41% | 101 |
| #7 | SyC0ne | 39% | 18 |
| #8 | FuryNZ | 19% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | 16 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | FenZ | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | sippin | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Mr Popo | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | wingman | 5 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | 1252 | 0.36 | 38 min |
| #2 | wingman | 300 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | sippin | 280 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #4 | FenZ | 229 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Mr Popo | 193 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SyC0ne | +1.89 | 69 | 40 |
| #2 | Mosswi | +1.61 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | JamemesG | +1.43 | 76 | 71 |
| #4 | Mr Popo | +1.06 | 79 | 63 |
| #5 | wingman | +0.71 | 64 | 53 |





