








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3487 | 39% |
| Smokes | 2090 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1912 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1394 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,038 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | 55% | 131 |
| #2 | Steegan Rinebean | 51% | 43 |
| #3 | FenZ | 51% | 110 |
| #4 | ♥ absent. | 49% | 61 |
| #5 | sippin | 49% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | sippin | 49% | 47 |
| #6 | m€l | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | wingman | 45% | 103 |
| #8 | Mosswi | 44% | 16 |
| #9 | FuryNZ | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | sippin | 6 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | FenZ | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Steegan Rinebean | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | wingman | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | 1106 | 0.41 | 35 min |
| #2 | FenZ | 338 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | wingman | 277 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | sippin | 202 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | ♥ absent. | 154 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JamemesG | +2.54 | 75 | 74 |
| #2 | Mr Popo | +1.40 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | Steegan Rinebean | +1.16 | 58 | 41 |
| #4 | wingman | +0.38 | 71 | 53 |
| #5 | sippin | +0.31 | 60 | 62 |





