








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 25 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 509 | 27% |
| Smokes | 466 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 608 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 309 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $261,419 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michal Jorden | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Chockablocka | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | mrcool317 | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Plank | 40% | 72 |
| #5 | AssGas Ragner | 39% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Plank | 40% | 72 |
| #5 | AssGas Ragner | 39% | 85 |
| #6 | Coach | 36% | 53 |
| #7 | FanBoy | 27% | 33 |
| #8 | blueperez3 | 21% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AssGas Ragner | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Coach | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Plank | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | FanBoy | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Michal Jorden | 2 | 0.0174 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AssGas Ragner | 152 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | Plank | 151 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Coach | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | mrcool317 | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Chockablocka | 23 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michal Jorden | +2.25 | 43 | 55 |
| #2 | Plank | +2.13 | 56 | 63 |
| #3 | AssGas Ragner | +0.15 | 59 | 40 |
| #4 | Chef | -0.08 | 44 | 54 |
| #5 | Chockablocka | -0.16 | 68 | 57 |





