








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 114 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2722 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4006 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3493 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2991 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,314 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 828 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞oNlyX✞ | 56% | 25 |
| #2 | TwiZzy | 49% | 182 |
| #3 | Mr. Satan | 47% | 77 |
| #4 | Bonhson Joris | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | Big_Daddy_Sam_69 | 40% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bonhson Joris | 40% | 60 |
| #5 | Big_Daddy_Sam_69 | 40% | 65 |
| #6 | Alpha | 38% | 24 |
| #7 | Local Pain Center | 36% | 44 |
| #8 | Fluffy | 36% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr. Satan | 11 | 0.0069 |
| #2 | Big_Daddy_Sam_69 | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | TwiZzy | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Alpha | 4 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | Bonhson Joris | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwiZzy | 365 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | Local Pain Center | 146 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mr. Satan | 116 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Bonhson Joris | 113 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Fluffy | 102 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✞oNlyX✞ | +1.44 | 57 | 50 |
| #2 | Fluffy | +1.34 | 64 | 69 |
| #3 | Big_Daddy_Sam_69 | +0.86 | 73 | 47 |
| #4 | TwiZzy | +0.75 | 81 | 67 |
| #5 | [BiB] fy | +0.43 | 68 | 51 |





