








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
320 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 293 | 23% |
| Smokes | 351 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 322 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 321 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $56,736 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SaVi | 67% | 3 |
| #6 | LYFTER SIBEREK ASIMALONABITO | 63% | 8 |
| #7 | dejvikkk | 33% | 3 |
| #8 | X1FO | 33% | 3 |
| #9 | Márty | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paja. | 6 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | F1LKZ | 1 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | LYFTER SIBEREK ASIMALONABITO | 1 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | X1FO | 1 | 0.0189 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | paja. | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | LYFTER SIBEREK ASIMALONABITO | 41 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | mokrahouba | 28 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | F1LKZ | 27 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #5 | SaVi | 13 | 0.22 | 0 min |





