








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,361 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1753 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1957 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1256 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1395 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $716,605 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Romanian disassembly expert | 36 | 0.0207 |
| #2 | SPLONETZEMAG | 26 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Haaga Hustla 00400 | 26 | 0.0485 |
| #4 | Greg Paul | 22 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | ByeBye (preZident) | 21 | 0.0269 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Greg Paul | 800 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | BOB | 451 | 0.40 | 15 min |
| #3 | SPLONETZEMAG | 415 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | Romanian disassembly expert | 238 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kivi | 186 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aelius | +2.24 | 80 | 56 |
| #2 | SPLONETZEMAG | +1.74 | 88 | 60 |
| #3 | Greg Paul | +1.35 | 71 | 73 |
| #4 | BOB | +0.17 | 71 | 77 |
| #5 | Romanian disassembly expert | -0.80 | 47 | 61 |





