








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 980 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 134 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4271 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2395 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2547 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2211 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2973 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $977,516 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1996 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoness | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | afk | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | hyperic | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | reh | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoness | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | afk | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | hyperic | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | reh | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | reh | 5 | 0.0113 |
| #2 | Phoness | 4 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | afk | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | hyperic | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | afk | 132 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | reh | 79 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | hyperic | 60 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Phoness | 40 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1 | +2.73 | 88 | 48 |
| #2 | afk | +2.01 | 77 | 66 |
| #3 | Phoness | +1.18 | 76 | 42 |
| #4 | hyperic | +0.81 | 71 | 49 |
| #5 | reh | -3.04 | 66 | 38 |





