








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 57 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
632 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 546 | 44% |
| Smokes | 291 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 210 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 202 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,607 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racoonballs | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Winter Soldier | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | yo | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | krakatau | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Phoness | 62% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | afk | 58% | 26 |
| #9 | Anita Dick | 57% | 7 |
| #10 | teetee | 56% | 16 |
| #11 | k1 | 53% | 19 |
| #12 | kywuu | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coco | 15 | 0.0295 |
| #2 | ben | 5 | 0.0500 |
| #3 | Phoness | 4 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Winter Soldier | 4 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | kywuu | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coco | 207 | 0.41 | 5 min |
| #2 | afk | 98 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #3 | krakatau | 76 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #4 | Phoness | 69 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Winter Soldier | 68 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | racoonballs | +4.73 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Coco | +2.72 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | teetee | +2.59 | 91 | 52 |
| #4 | Phoness | +2.50 | 88 | 45 |
| #5 | afk | +2.25 | 84 | 71 |





