








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 360 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2495 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1873 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2915 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2893 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,794 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 410 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akselib0b | 47% | 159 |
| #2 | Antidote | 47% | 247 |
| #3 | MetaMiksu | 46% | 196 |
| #4 | -downfall | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | Manuatus | 45% | 203 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | MetaMiksu | 46% | 196 |
| #4 | -downfall | 46% | 52 |
| #5 | Manuatus | 45% | 203 |
| #6 | Snööpe | 43% | 65 |
| #7 | servaaja | 42% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antidote | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Manuatus | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Akselib0b | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | servaaja | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | MetaMiksu | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manuatus | 799 | 0.19 | 19 min |
| #2 | Antidote | 709 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #3 | -downfall | 362 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #4 | Akselib0b | 322 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | MetaMiksu | 291 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manuatus | +1.48 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | -downfall | +1.42 | 73 | 63 |
| #3 | Antidote | +0.23 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | MetaMiksu | -0.26 | 82 | 48 |
| #5 | Akselib0b | -0.60 | 42 | 69 |





