








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,823 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1599 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2454 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2318 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2452 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,596,473 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -downfall | 51% | 90 |
| #2 | Antidote | 49% | 300 |
| #3 | Akselib0b | 48% | 129 |
| #4 | Snööpe | 47% | 89 |
| #5 | Manuatus | 47% | 221 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Akselib0b | 48% | 129 |
| #4 | Snööpe | 47% | 89 |
| #5 | Manuatus | 47% | 221 |
| #6 | ISO L | 46% | 196 |
| #7 | servaaja | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antidote | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Manuatus | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | ISO L | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | servaaja | 7 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Akselib0b | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antidote | 854 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #2 | Manuatus | 800 | 0.18 | 20 min |
| #3 | -downfall | 484 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #4 | ISO L | 421 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Akselib0b | 284 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manuatus | +1.70 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | Antidote | +0.45 | 73 | 54 |
| #3 | -downfall | +0.32 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | ISO L | -0.39 | 65 | 63 |
| #5 | MetaMiksu | -0.49 | 82 | 50 |





