








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 124 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 716 | 22% |
| Smokes | 797 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 769 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 901 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,844 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -downfall | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Manuatus | 54% | 85 |
| #3 | Antidote | 49% | 84 |
| #4 | MetaMiksu | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | Snööpe | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MetaMiksu | 46% | 74 |
| #5 | Snööpe | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | Bober | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | ISO L | 42% | 52 |
| #8 | Akselib0b | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manuatus | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Antidote | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ISO L | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | MetaMiksu | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Akselib0b | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manuatus | 273 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #2 | Antidote | 229 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | ISO L | 125 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | MetaMiksu | 98 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | Akselib0b | 89 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Manuatus | +2.06 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Antidote | +1.08 | 70 | 54 |
| #3 | -downfall | +0.58 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | MetaMiksu | +0.20 | 78 | 52 |
| #5 | Akselib0b | -0.43 | 44 | 66 |





