








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3467 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,797 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3513 | 52% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 928 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 917 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,114 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 568 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | Protege | 60% | 210 |
| #3 | ุ | 59% | 265 |
| #4 | Lucky Charms | 58% | 273 |
| #5 | HABIBI | 55% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | Protege | 60% | 210 |
| #3 | ุ | 59% | 265 |
| #4 | Lucky Charms | 58% | 273 |
| #5 | HABIBI | 55% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | 35 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | HABIBI | 26 | 0.0179 |
| #3 | Lucky Charms | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Protege | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | DingBuddy | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Protege | 1598 | 0.36 | 49 min |
| #2 | Lucky Charms | 875 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | ุ | 688 | 0.13 | 18 min |
| #4 | DingBuddy | 196 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #5 | HABIBI | 26 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | +2.95 | 89 | 70 |
| #2 | Protege | +2.04 | 76 | 84 |
| #3 | ุ | +1.85 | 87 | 57 |
| #4 | Lucky Charms | +0.69 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | Volk | -0.18 | 75 | 48 |





