








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 771 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3778 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4275 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4576 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2549 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3497 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,021,309 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | Protege | 62% | 217 |
| #3 | ุ | 60% | 351 |
| #4 | Volk | 58% | 273 |
| #5 | HABIBI | 55% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | 70% | 27 |
| #2 | Protege | 62% | 217 |
| #3 | ุ | 60% | 351 |
| #4 | Volk | 58% | 273 |
| #5 | HABIBI | 55% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ุ | 44 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Volk | 39 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | HABIBI | 34 | 0.0165 |
| #4 | Protege | 10 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Protege | 1692 | 0.37 | 50 min |
| #2 | Volk | 1080 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #3 | ุ | 949 | 0.13 | 24 min |
| #4 | DingBuddy | 136 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #5 | HABIBI | 40 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DingBuddy | +3.43 | 91 | 74 |
| #2 | ุ | +2.55 | 87 | 57 |
| #3 | Protege | +2.13 | 75 | 84 |
| #4 | Lucky Charms | +1.17 | 69 | 65 |
| #5 | Volk | -0.10 | 75 | 48 |





