








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2167 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1484 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1652 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2004 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1885 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $502,285 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RaD | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | JP0nzy | 77% | 13 |
| #3 | arne-- | 76% | 25 |
| #4 | Neddð | 75% | 36 |
| #5 | teityr | 67% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | isdiot | 61% | 18 |
| #10 | MeepMeep | 59% | 17 |
| #11 | bxnskýi- | 53% | 30 |
| #12 | NEMT | 47% | 15 |
| #13 | Widepeek-Strike 2 | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Presi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Capo | 293 | 0.32 | 7 min |
| #2 | Presi | 162 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | Widepeek-Strike 2 | 78 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | Larni | 73 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | MeepMeep | 72 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bxnskýi- | +2.76 | 89 | 65 |
| #2 | Larni | +1.89 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | isdiot | +1.59 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | Presi | +1.21 | 66 | 71 |
| #5 | Capo | +1.19 | 76 | 69 |





