








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 929 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 362 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1940 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3660 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2063 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2813 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,136,586 of utility $238 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 210 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W1ldF1re.- | 51% | 256 |
| #2 | SnusEnjoyer | 51% | 148 |
| #3 | VaN_baNán | 50% | 353 |
| #4 | SR5 | 49% | 275 |
| #5 | kisyoshi | 49% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | SnusEnjoyer | 51% | 148 |
| #3 | VaN_baNán | 50% | 353 |
| #4 | SR5 | 49% | 275 |
| #5 | kisyoshi | 49% | 147 |
| #6 | Kalács :3 (TÚRÓRUDI) | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaN_baNán | 46 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | SR5 | 44 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | W1ldF1re.- | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | kisyoshi | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | SnusEnjoyer | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaN_baNán | 423 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | SnusEnjoyer | 237 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | kisyoshi | 224 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | SR5 | 159 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | W1ldF1re.- | 84 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groovy | +2.81 | 73 | 57 |
| #2 | SnusEnjoyer | +0.85 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | W1ldF1re.- | -0.21 | 54 | 42 |
| #4 | VaN_baNán | -0.40 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | Kalács :3 (TÚRÓRUDI) | -1.75 | 63 | 32 |





