








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 723 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 499 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,851 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2605 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4414 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3001 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2831 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,721,613 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 484 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myson | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | Groovy | 50% | 353 |
| #3 | W1ldF1re.- | 47% | 309 |
| #4 | ✪tAco ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | SR5 | 47% | 346 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | W1ldF1re.- | 47% | 309 |
| #4 | ✪tAco ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | SR5 | 47% | 346 |
| #6 | kisyoshi | 46% | 164 |
| #7 | SnusEnjoyer | 42% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SR5 | 52 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | W1ldF1re.- | 22 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Groovy | 20 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | kisyoshi | 15 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | SnusEnjoyer | 12 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groovy | 445 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | SnusEnjoyer | 283 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | kisyoshi | 253 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | SR5 | 181 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #5 | W1ldF1re.- | 107 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Groovy | +2.66 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | ✪tAco ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) | +2.22 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | Myson | +0.74 | 39 | 45 |
| #4 | SnusEnjoyer | +0.63 | 69 | 50 |
| #5 | VaN_baNán | -0.05 | 58 | 55 |





