








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 301 | 28% |
| Smokes | 343 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 234 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 186 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $130,485 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SamuVAS | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | KERZA | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | manqo | 55% | 11 |
| #4 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | tupac | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 4 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | tupac | 2 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | SamuVAS | 2 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | manqo | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | KERZA | 2 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tupac | 82 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | CS vekku | 72 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | SamuVAS | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | KERZA | 25 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KERZA | +4.15 | 91 | 43 |
| #2 | CS vekku | +1.55 | 37 | 66 |
| #3 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | +1.00 | 56 | 45 |
| #4 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | -0.09 | 48 | 23 |
| #5 | tupac | -0.09 | 78 | 69 |





