








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 471 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1369 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,656 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 795 | 30% |
| Smokes | 495 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 741 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 625 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $284,019 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CS vekku | 65% | 17 |
| #2 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | tupac | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 64% | 56 |
| #3 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | tupac | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | SamuVAS | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 14 | 0.0126 |
| #2 | SamuVAS | 4 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 154 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | SamuVAS | 74 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | CS vekku | 38 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | tupac | 28 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 21 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KERZA | +6.35 | 90 | 47 |
| #2 | CS vekku | +2.49 | 59 | 62 |
| #3 | SamuVAS | +0.71 | 13 | 69 |
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | +0.28 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | -0.28 | 55 | 66 |





