








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
642 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,434 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 392 | 27% |
| Smokes | 482 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 276 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 284 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,731 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juippi | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | tupac | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | SamuVAS | 1 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tupac | 206 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | CS vekku | 182 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Juippi | 107 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | SamuVAS | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CS vekku | +1.84 | 42 | 66 |
| #2 | Juippi | +0.55 | 51 | 42 |
| #3 | tupac | -0.19 | 75 | 64 |
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | -0.42 | 42 | 50 |
| #5 | manqo | -1.36 | 48 | 38 |





