








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Faceit | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1674 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1516 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1998 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1764 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $107,933 of utility $30 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | KERZA | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | CS vekku | 49% | 136 |
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Juippi | 47% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | 48% | 25 |
| #5 | Juippi | 47% | 62 |
| #6 | manqo | 45% | 66 |
| #7 | Seelavirtanennisoperseeeeeee | 40% | 10 |
| #8 | SamuVAS | 25% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | manqo | 10 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Juippi | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | SamuVAS | 3 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | 3 | 0.0126 |
| #5 | CS vekku | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CS vekku | 313 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | Juippi | 158 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | manqo | 128 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | SamuVAS | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KERZA | +3.29 | 94 | 33 |
| #2 | 𝕁𝕖𝕣𝕫𝕒𝕙 | +3.23 | 69 | 69 |
| #3 | CS vekku | +1.51 | 45 | 66 |
| #4 | Juippi | +0.39 | 51 | 45 |
| #5 | Gio Pika Humileone Nato Zetor | +0.03 | 55 | 47 |





