








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 560 | 12% |
| Smokes | 966 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1571 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1658 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,398,242 of utility $243 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1165 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rusty 45lb plate | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | biggest idiot in open | 64% | 28 |
| #3 | flaw | 63% | 30 |
| #4 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | josh | 60% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaw | 264 | 0.41 | 7 min |
| #2 | TOY ✌(ツ)ว | 124 | 0.34 | 4 min |
| #3 | biggest idiot in open | 108 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | josh | 80 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | KAZHUA IS BASED | 76 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flaw | +2.59 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | tdumps | +2.43 | 86 | 42 |
| #3 | josh | +2.08 | 88 | 57 |
| #4 | Dangles -qwop- | +1.43 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | Xeris | +1.23 | 70 | 75 |





