








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 494 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 195 matches | ||
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3760 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6420 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5360 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3744 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3306 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $647,315 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 223 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ucro | 64% | 47 |
| #2 | Puding | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | kosmonaut | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | mike | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | junga | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | jauza | 43% | 54 |
| #11 | ✪ joy | 41% | 76 |
| #12 | venyetta | 37% | 51 |
| #13 | Piiskop | 36% | 28 |
| #14 | Zer02 | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jauza | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | kosmonaut | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ✪ joy | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | ucro | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Zer02 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nonsmoker | 171 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | Sauce Castillo | 148 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | jauza | 144 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | ucro | 142 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | venyetta | 135 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirikuõpetaja | +4.04 | 94 | 70 |
| #2 | ucro | +3.86 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | nonsmoker | +0.95 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | P4nc4ke | +0.55 | 66 | 77 |
| #5 | Zer02 | +0.42 | 63 | 68 |





