








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 910 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 745 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,998 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6733 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8917 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6732 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5616 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,024,784 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 464 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | jauza | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Puding | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | junga | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ✪ joy | 6 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mike | 1250 | 0.13 | 35 min |
| #2 | ✪ joy | 636 | 0.06 | 21 min |
| #3 | P4nc4ke | 574 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #4 | blanks | 570 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #5 | jauza | 538 | 0.09 | 15 min |





