








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 456 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5615 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,741 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4758 | 18% |
| Smokes | 8238 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 6204 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6541 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $652,592 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nonsmoker | 16 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | junga | 7 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | mike | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | jauza | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Sauce Castillo | 3 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nonsmoker | 818 | 0.07 | 27 min |
| #2 | mike | 709 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | Sauce Castillo | 472 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #4 | P4nc4ke | 466 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| #5 | blanks | 358 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ssccoonn | +3.42 | 92 | 65 |
| #2 | Aprest | +2.56 | 86 | 69 |
| #3 | nonsmoker | +1.95 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | P4nc4ke | +1.56 | 70 | 80 |
| #5 | Cett | +1.42 | 83 | 67 |





