








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 10 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
130 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 59 | 11% |
| Smokes | 124 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 162 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 179 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,836 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigFloppahh | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | ToothFairy28 | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Spicy | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Jakak | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ToothFairy28 | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Spicy | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | Jakak | 36% | 22 |
| #6 | BigFlan10 | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToothFairy28 | 3 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Spicy | 2 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Jakak | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | 1 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spicy | 134 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | MilkSoup | 76 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jakak | 45 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | BigFloppahh | 6 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkSoup | +3.60 | 81 | 60 |
| #2 | Spicy | -0.02 | 36 | 89 |
| #3 | Jakak | -0.10 | 58 | 72 |
| #4 | ToothFairy28 | -1.08 | 68 | 13 |
| #5 | BigFloppahh | -2.71 | 53 | 65 |





