








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,473 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 565 | 16% |
| Smokes | 945 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1419 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 544 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $256,857 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigFloppahh | 50% | 94 |
| #2 | MilkSoup | 49% | 99 |
| #3 | Spicy | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | Jakak | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | ToothFairy28 | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigFloppahh | 50% | 94 |
| #2 | MilkSoup | 49% | 99 |
| #3 | Spicy | 48% | 79 |
| #4 | Jakak | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | ToothFairy28 | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigFloppahh | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Spicy | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jakak | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ToothFairy28 | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spicy | 363 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | BigFloppahh | 349 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | MilkSoup | 256 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | Jakak | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | ToothFairy28 | 1 | 0.00 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkSoup | +3.20 | 82 | 68 |
| #2 | ToothFairy28 | +0.30 | 67 | 8 |
| #3 | Jakak | -0.54 | 69 | 66 |
| #4 | Spicy | -0.59 | 39 | 87 |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | -0.79 | 69 | 45 |





