








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2695 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,140 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2787 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3260 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4429 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3664 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $815,079 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 135 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToothFairy28 | 56% | 121 |
| #2 | Spicy | 52% | 277 |
| #3 | BigFloppahh | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 51% | 308 |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | 47% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spicy | 52% | 277 |
| #3 | BigFloppahh | 51% | 154 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 51% | 308 |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | 47% | 77 |
| #6 | TheJonimus | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spicy | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | MilkSoup | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | ToothFairy28 | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | BigFlan10 | 9 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | BigFloppahh | 5 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spicy | 1359 | 0.24 | 44 min |
| #2 | MilkSoup | 719 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | BigFloppahh | 516 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #4 | BigFlan10 | 85 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | ToothFairy28 | 19 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkSoup | +2.76 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | ToothFairy28 | +0.01 | 64 | 13 |
| #3 | Jakak | -0.67 | 65 | 64 |
| #4 | Spicy | -0.78 | 32 | 86 |
| #5 | BigFloppahh | -1.16 | 62 | 64 |





