








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3205 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6221 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6592 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5179 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5854 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $708,626 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ToothFairy28 | 55% | 164 |
| #2 | BigFloppahh | 55% | 191 |
| #3 | Jakak | 52% | 277 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 51% | 403 |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | 48% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | BigFloppahh | 55% | 191 |
| #3 | Jakak | 52% | 277 |
| #4 | MilkSoup | 51% | 403 |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | 48% | 79 |
| #6 | TheJonimus | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkSoup | 18 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | ToothFairy28 | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | Jakak | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | BigFlan10 | 11 | 0.0066 |
| #5 | BigFloppahh | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkSoup | 970 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #2 | BigFloppahh | 631 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #3 | Jakak | 526 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #4 | BigFlan10 | 86 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | ToothFairy28 | 31 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MilkSoup | +2.34 | 83 | 64 |
| #2 | ToothFairy28 | +0.14 | 66 | 12 |
| #3 | Jakak | -0.46 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | Spicy | -0.94 | 32 | 85 |
| #5 | BigFlan10 | -1.07 | 72 | 46 |





