








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,779 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2805 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1985 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1880 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1109 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,538,327 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 916 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PellegringoPapi | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Krypt. 44 | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Butthurt | 56% | 72 |
| #4 | Craves | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | ethan | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Broccoli Bill | 47% | 51 |
| #11 | Faulted | 45% | 22 |
| #12 | NuggeT II NnJa | 44% | 45 |
| #13 | Abyss | 36% | 22 |
| #14 | jxice. | 33% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G-MAN | 398 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #2 | Sm0key | 376 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | Broccoli Bill | 287 | 0.29 | 6 min |
| #4 | Butthurt | 209 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | ethan | 155 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butthurt | +4.11 | 87 | 64 |
| #2 | Sm0key | +3.54 | 85 | 58 |
| #3 | ethan | +3.24 | 67 | 43 |
| #4 | G-MAN | +2.47 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | PellegringoPapi | +1.69 | 80 | 50 |





