








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 131 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3823 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,742 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2296 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2303 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2716 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2427 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,984 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 261 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | NuggeT II NnJa | 58% | 113 |
| #9 | Schnee | 57% | 49 |
| #10 | Kora. | 56% | 72 |
| #11 | Broccoli Bill | 53% | 40 |
| #12 | Tw0_Ea5Y ツ | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sm0key | 741 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | NuggeT II NnJa | 239 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Broccoli Bill | 170 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #4 | Kora. | 157 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | jxice. | 145 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Butthurt | +3.37 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | Sm0key | +2.51 | 86 | 62 |
| #3 | jxice. | +1.56 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Zachy Wacky | +0.70 | 83 | 41 |
| #5 | PellegringoPapi | +0.21 | 79 | 51 |





