








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 900 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5901 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6588 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3971 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 7612 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5057 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,133,041 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Mirage is a Bad Map. | 44% | 68 |
| #8 | yung bruh :3 | 44% | 191 |
| #9 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 42% | 102 |
| #10 | Bill the Flowerpot Man | 39% | 46 |
| #11 | Keith | 38% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♥ Butter Boy ♥ | 18 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | WhitezHD_ | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Kora. | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | yung bruh :3 | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | 1.5 broken wrists | 7 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WhitezHD_ | 305 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | yung bruh :3 | 292 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | 1.5 broken wrists | 273 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mirage is a Bad Map. | 249 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kora. | 248 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1.5 broken wrists | +4.45 | 68 | 48 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | +3.23 | 58 | 63 |
| #3 | G-MAN | +2.38 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | Keith | -0.14 | 36 | 57 |
| #5 | WhitezHD_ | -0.17 | 64 | 68 |





