








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1408 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,684 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1116 | 30% |
| Smokes | 921 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 916 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,095 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Z | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | taZa | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | ex | 78% | 9 |
| #4 | Phoenix | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | swagmaster | 67% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Phoenix | 77% | 13 |
| #5 | swagmaster | 67% | 15 |
| #6 | Sinister | 60% | 10 |
| #7 | FRIZZY | 57% | 7 |
| #8 | z0mb1e | 53% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 5 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | swagmaster | 1 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Sinister | 1 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Z | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z0mb1e | 114 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #2 | Phoenix | 63 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #3 | ex | 58 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| #4 | Z | 55 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| #5 | FRIZZY | 54 | 0.29 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | taZa | +3.92 | 88 | 76 |
| #2 | Phoenix | +2.64 | 57 | 76 |
| #3 | swagmaster | +2.30 | 88 | 77 |
| #4 | ex | +2.10 | 85 | 70 |
| #5 | Z | +1.94 | 94 | 56 |





