










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 84 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 97 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,574 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 604 | 23% |
| Smokes | 688 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 925 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 357 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $474,694 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Drogba | 44% | 52 |
| #5 | FRUITYBOOTY | 38% | 24 |
| #6 | Altheepix | 35% | 37 |
| #7 | Yoad | 32% | 31 |
| #8 | AnhTakeAway | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoad | 21 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | Altheepix | 19 | 0.0252 |
| #3 | FRUITYBOOTY | 19 | 0.0392 |
| #4 | DaddySpankMe | 8 | 0.0248 |
| #5 | oot | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DaddySpankMe | 199 | 0.62 | 4 min |
| #2 | Drogba | 63 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | oot | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | FRUITYBOOTY | 25 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | Yoad | 14 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oot | +2.13 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | Yoad | +1.33 | 63 | 31 |
| #3 | Drogba | +0.93 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | DaddySpankMe | +0.15 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | Daly | -0.27 | 49 | 46 |





