








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 537 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




188 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 567 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2127 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1448 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2980 | 42% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,010,198 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4527 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | marco | 41% | 34 |
| #6 | AnhTakeAway | 40% | 99 |
| #7 | Altheepix | 39% | 147 |
| #8 | FRUITYBOOTY | 36% | 96 |
| #9 | Daly | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Altheepix | 72 | 0.0235 |
| #2 | FRUITYBOOTY | 61 | 0.0294 |
| #3 | INEEDAJOB | 9 | 0.0089 |
| #4 | Daly | 9 | 0.0139 |
| #5 | Dimitry Basulevbar | 8 | 0.0105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marco | 168 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Master Oogway | 110 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dimitry Basulevbar | 81 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | FRUITYBOOTY | 65 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | INEEDAJOB | 54 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dimitry Basulevbar | +7.14 | 66 | 53 |
| #2 | marco | +1.11 | 68 | 67 |
| #3 | Yoad | +1.02 | 60 | 33 |
| #4 | Master Oogway | +0.95 | 39 | 50 |
| #5 | Daly | +0.90 | 50 | 41 |





