








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 763 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 368 matches | ||
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 58 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6683 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9475 | 30% |
| Smokes | 7264 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7764 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7158 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,372,374 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L1mber | 54% | 101 |
| #2 | g@ndоnchik | 54% | 164 |
| #3 | >:) | 53% | 401 |
| #4 | no1ess | 53% | 379 |
| #5 | F1MKS | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | F1MKS | 53% | 53 |
| #6 | Fox MarinesCorp. | 51% | 231 |
| #7 | G00dYear | 51% | 510 |
| #8 | qqname | 51% | 273 |
| #9 | Sooler | 48% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G00dYear | 9 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Fox MarinesCorp. | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | >:) | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | g@ndоnchik | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | qqname | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G00dYear | 922 | 0.08 | 22 min |
| #2 | no1ess | 903 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #3 | Fox MarinesCorp. | 677 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | g@ndоnchik | 497 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #5 | >:) | 267 | 0.03 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:) | +2.15 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | G00dYear | +0.76 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | g@ndоnchik | +0.24 | 51 | 75 |
| #4 | crap bag | -0.03 | 63 | 76 |
| #5 | qqname | -0.32 | 60 | 43 |





