








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 397 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 411 matches | ||
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4939 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,153 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5908 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7100 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6530 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7615 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,351,821 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g@ndоnchik | 57% | 136 |
| #2 | crap bag | 53% | 379 |
| #3 | >:) | 53% | 458 |
| #4 | F1MKS | 52% | 79 |
| #5 | qqname | 51% | 337 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | qqname | 51% | 337 |
| #6 | G00dYear | 50% | 517 |
| #7 | Fox MarinesCorp. | 49% | 181 |
| #8 | Sooler | 46% | 50 |
| #9 | L1mber | 46% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G00dYear | 10 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | crap bag | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Fox MarinesCorp. | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | qqname | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | >:) | 3 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crap bag | 1123 | 0.14 | 32 min |
| #2 | G00dYear | 892 | 0.08 | 23 min |
| #3 | Fox MarinesCorp. | 571 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #4 | g@ndоnchik | 383 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #5 | >:) | 341 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:) | +2.22 | 72 | 62 |
| #2 | G00dYear | +0.81 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | g@ndоnchik | +0.13 | 50 | 76 |
| #4 | crap bag | -0.27 | 63 | 78 |
| #5 | L1mber | -0.35 | 41 | 75 |





