








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 389 matches | ||
| Premier | 56 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3953 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,515 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 973 | 10% |
| Smokes | 2438 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3422 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 2682 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,556,481 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | g@ndоnchik | 57% | 90 |
| #2 | F1MKS | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | >:) | 53% | 397 |
| #4 | Fox MarinesCorp. | 52% | 105 |
| #5 | G00dYear | 51% | 467 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | G00dYear | 51% | 467 |
| #6 | no1ess | 51% | 337 |
| #7 | crap bag | 51% | 273 |
| #8 | Sooler | 48% | 60 |
| #9 | L1mber | 47% | 109 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:) | 6 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | crap bag | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | G00dYear | 3 | 0.0003 |
| #4 | no1ess | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | g@ndоnchik | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | G00dYear | 845 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #2 | crap bag | 819 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | no1ess | 777 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #4 | >:) | 307 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | L1mber | 295 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | >:) | +2.01 | 74 | 63 |
| #2 | G00dYear | +0.79 | 70 | 67 |
| #3 | g@ndоnchik | +0.24 | 52 | 74 |
| #4 | L1mber | -0.15 | 41 | 74 |
| #5 | qqname | -0.46 | 60 | 42 |





