










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
127 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 879 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 287 | 33% |
| Smokes | 210 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 231 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 151 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,960 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | And3rs | 43% | 14 |
| #2 | Ejoy | 41% | 27 |
| #3 | Bapo the taco | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | Thomasberg | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Dr Sniels Holm | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Ejoy | 41% | 27 |
| #3 | Bapo the taco | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | Thomasberg | 27% | 15 |
| #5 | Dr Sniels Holm | 22% | 9 |
| #6 | Tung Tung Tung Sahur | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomasberg | 3 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | And3rs | 3 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | Bapo the taco | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Ejoy | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bapo the taco | 125 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Ejoy | 44 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Thomasberg | 42 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | And3rs | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tung Tung Tung Sahur | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tung Tung Tung Sahur | +2.66 | 61 | 23 |
| #2 | Thomasberg | +2.40 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | Ejoy | +2.23 | 67 | 78 |
| #4 | Bapo the taco | +1.08 | 44 | 67 |
| #5 | Dr Sniels Holm | -3.11 | 18 | 41 |





