








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 713 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,713 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3516 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3672 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3790 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2735 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,292 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smoove | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | And3rs | 54% | 39 |
| #3 | Dr Sniels Holm | 51% | 79 |
| #4 | Bapo the taco | 51% | 164 |
| #5 | Thomasberg | 45% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bapo the taco | 51% | 164 |
| #5 | Thomasberg | 45% | 82 |
| #6 | kenn6699 | 41% | 27 |
| #7 | - Derank_ministeren - | 39% | 41 |
| #8 | Tung Tung Tung Sahur | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thomasberg | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #2 | Bapo the taco | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Dr Sniels Holm | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | - Derank_ministeren - | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | And3rs | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bapo the taco | 445 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Thomasberg | 174 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | And3rs | 69 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | - Derank_ministeren - | 63 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Smoove | 57 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ejoy | +1.47 | 58 | 69 |
| #2 | Tung Tung Tung Sahur | +1.08 | 65 | 51 |
| #3 | Thomasberg | +0.70 | 69 | 58 |
| #4 | Bapo the taco | +0.47 | 44 | 70 |
| #5 | Smoove | -0.07 | 58 | 66 |





