








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 210 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 96 matches | ||
| Wingman | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,196 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1466 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2208 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2236 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $583,943 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 88 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James_Kneisl | 51% | 90 |
| #2 | Ozelot | 46% | 52 |
| #3 | muszka | 46% | 57 |
| #4 | St0x | 44% | 57 |
| #5 | intern | 43% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quay | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | St0x | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | James_Kneisl | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | intern | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quay | 427 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | muszka | 238 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | James_Kneisl | 202 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | intern | 161 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | 106 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James_Kneisl | +2.48 | 64 | 67 |
| #2 | quay | +0.60 | 58 | 68 |
| #3 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | +0.43 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | St0x | -0.27 | 53 | 64 |
| #5 | Erdmännchen | -0.82 | 67 | 70 |





