








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 378 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 418 matches | ||
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3299 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,940 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2425 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2549 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3566 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2400 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,207,304 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | 52% | 128 |
| #2 | James_Kneisl | 51% | 155 |
| #3 | Ozelot | 46% | 50 |
| #4 | St0x | 46% | 498 |
| #5 | quay | 45% | 234 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | St0x | 46% | 498 |
| #5 | quay | 45% | 234 |
| #6 | muszka | 44% | 90 |
| #7 | heggeN (7 IQ) | 43% | 86 |
| #8 | Erdmännchen | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St0x | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | quay | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | James_Kneisl | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | heggeN (7 IQ) | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quay | 598 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | St0x | 449 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | James_Kneisl | 359 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #4 | muszka | 302 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | heggeN (7 IQ) | 171 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James_Kneisl | +1.84 | 69 | 70 |
| #2 | quay | +1.30 | 61 | 68 |
| #3 | St0x | +0.88 | 55 | 64 |
| #4 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | +0.35 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | muszka | -0.40 | 48 | 76 |





