








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Wingman | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4024 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4163 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3689 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3350 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4214 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,539,101 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | quay | 52% | 218 |
| #7 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | 51% | 202 |
| #8 | heggeN (7 IQ) | 51% | 90 |
| #9 | intern | 51% | 155 |
| #10 | St0x | 50% | 288 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | St0x | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | quay | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | heggeN (7 IQ) | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | intern | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | quay | 677 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #2 | muszka | 439 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | St0x | 349 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #4 | intern | 246 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | 206 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | James_Kneisl | +1.57 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | quay | +0.59 | 57 | 72 |
| #3 | ChaosKuh [21 IQ] | +0.16 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | St0x | +0.01 | 52 | 64 |
| #5 | muszka | -0.32 | 56 | 76 |





