








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3411 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2054 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2913 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3138 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,283 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluntzyzz | 56% | 39 |
| #2 | Chessell | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | ラクダの猫のワーム | 46% | 242 |
| #4 | Bot Ollu | 46% | 188 |
| #5 | A.W | 45% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ラクダの猫のワーム | 60 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Bot Ollu | 46 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Chessell | 10 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Daiki Aomine | 10 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | LimeGrab | 10 | 0.0095 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ラクダの猫のワーム | 722 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Bot Ollu | 667 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Chessell | 261 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #4 | Daiki Aomine | 254 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #5 | bluntzyzz | 165 | 0.22 | 4 min |





