








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
436 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 997 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 483 | 48% |
| Smokes | 205 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 102 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 207 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $71,625 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | JETT MAIN(VAL>CS) | 44% | 27 |
| #6 | Speedfreak15558 | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | JiggleEnjoyer69 | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | Cev-Men | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | Eleven | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JETT MAIN(VAL>CS) | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Cev-Men | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | FluffEnjoyer69 | 1 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Speedfreak15558 | 1 | 0.0079 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FluffEnjoyer69 | +6.56 | 91 | 48 |
| #2 | Eleven | +0.79 | 68 | 71 |
| #3 | LS03-Earth | +0.21 | 56 | 44 |
| #4 | CYKO | -0.08 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | Hecrius (New Cpu) | -0.09 | 50 | 60 |





