








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1197 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1245 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 856 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 155 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,719 of utility $242 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 561 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1ngCT | 53% | 139 |
| #2 | ECCHI | 52% | 153 |
| #3 | Bokkie | 51% | 104 |
| #4 | dragonrune003 | 47% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1ngCT | 53% | 139 |
| #2 | ECCHI | 52% | 153 |
| #3 | Bokkie | 51% | 104 |
| #4 | dragonrune003 | 47% | 101 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1ngCT | 33 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Bokkie | 23 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | dragonrune003 | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | ECCHI | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ECCHI | 658 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | K1ngCT | 414 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #3 | Bokkie | 252 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | dragonrune003 | 26 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1ngCT | +5.46 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | ECCHI | +1.38 | 59 | 64 |
| #3 | Bokkie | -0.71 | 61 | 41 |
| #4 | TL MonkE | -1.02 | 57 | 53 |
| #5 | dragonrune003 | -3.49 | 29 | 29 |





